Persuasion : How to Build Rapport – Part 2

In Rapport: If you walk into a restaurant and you see a couple leaning towards one another… the guy speaking in a softer tone… crossing his hands the same way as the lady… We say the couple is in rapport with one another.

And 99% of the time, they are either newly-weds or couples still in courtship.

Out of Rapport: If you walk into the same restaurant and you see the lady leaning forward… the guy leaning backwards… speaking with a stronger, heavier tone… We say the couple is out of rapport with one another.

And 99% of the time, they are couples who have been married for several years.

Alright, so how do we build rapport with others?

People Like People Who Are Just Like Them: The more you behave, talk and sound like the person you are talking to, the more receptive they will be.

Think about it…

Who is the person you talk the most to, every single day in your life?

The answer is… YOU!

You know that inner voice that you have inside your brain?

Yes, it’s the one that’s most probably saying, “What inner voice?” in your head right now.

To Build Rapport, Start “Matching”: By behaving, talking and sounding just like them, what you’re actually doing is to increase similarities​and to reduce differences​– the number one key to building rapport.

And that’s where the NLP “matching” technique comes in.

According to research, the total impact of our communication consists of words (7%),
tone of voice (38%) and body language (55%).

So to become a persuasive communicator, you’ll also want to focus on matching in these areas:

  • Words
  • Tonality & Rate of Speech
  • Body Language
  • Emotions/Values
  • Experience


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