Matching Words: If you’ve paid close attention to what someone else is saying, you can almost always identify a specific set of words or key phrases that they use on a consistent basis.
Some examples are: “Honestly”, “You know what I’m saying?”, “Basically” and so on.
And if you were to use the same words/key phrases back at them, you’ll increase your similarity and they’ll trust and like you more unconsciously.
Another approach to matching words is to understand how they process information.
Do they process information more visually, auditorily, or kinesthetically? Do they say “I see your point” (visual), “this sounds right/wrong to me” (auditory) or “I feel that what you say makes sense” (kinesthetic)? Putting It Into Practice
The next time you engage in a conversation, listen very carefully to what they are saying and pick up if they are visual/auditory/kinesthetic.
Then if your partner is primarily using visual words, phrase your sentences to be visually appealing.
For example if you’re a financial planner and you want to explain how good your Policy is, you can say something like, “You might want to take a look at what this policy can give you. Once you see them, it will give you a clearer picture and you can decide if the policy is right for you.”
Matching Tonality & Rate of Speech: Would you consider yourself to speak fast or slow?
If you’re a fast talker, then you’ll most probably be put off to sleep by people who speak really… really… really… slowly.
Conversely if you tend to articulate your words well and you speak relatively slower, you’ll most probably feel confused and lost when talking to people who shoot words out of their mouths like bullets.
Now, what do you think would happen if your client speaks quickly and you speak really slowly, or vice versa?
That’s right. You’ll most probably lose their attention even before you introduce your idea to them!
So, what if someone speaks very fast – way faster than you do and can feel comfortable with?
Then here’s a trick…
You simply match this person by speaking at a faster, yet comfortable rate.
It’s going to be at least twice more effective than speaking in the usual tonality.
Again, is this something you can practice the next time you engage in a conversation with someone else? Of course!
In fact, I urge you to practice so you can get better at this.