Persuasion : How to Build Rapport – Part 4

Matching Body Language: Body language is made up of our facial expression, gestures, posture, breathing pattern, eye movement and muscle tension.

In my Pattern of Excellence seminars, I usually get people into pairs, get them to match or imitate one another’s body language for 5 minutes and have fun doing that. No talking, just observing one another’s body language and mirroring that.

So for example, if Partner A folds his arms, Partner B can choose to either fold his arms or cross his legs. The purpose of the exercise is to get them comfortable with the NLP matching technique, and to allow them to experience first-hand how powerful this technique really is.

Initially, they will feel uncomfortable with the exercise. But after a minute or so, they’ll begin to experience a certain sense of rapport with their partner – even though no words were exchanged in the whole session.

Putting It Into Practice Of course, you might not be able to find someone else right now to do this exercise. But how about doing it on a more subtle level the next time you meet someone?

Here’s what I mean… The next time you engage in a comfortable with someone you feel comfortable with, start observing their body language and ask yourself questions like: Are they slouching / sitting upright?

Are they crossing their arms/legs? What gestures do they usually make? … Then, mirror what they do.

If they cross their arms/legs in the middle of the conversation, let a few seconds pass or say a few sentences before you do the same. The key is to be natural.

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